By Jon, Kevin, Rialto (Written: 4/27/2008)
She was lovlier than the setting sun, fairer tan a sun bleached cattle skull recently devoured by the Gorlemet, and smelled like pickles, which was a turn off for all the boys her age in the tribe.
He often would attempt to catch her eye with a cleverly ornamented boomerang or some other craft he had made or feat he had accomplished, but she never seemed to notice.
For you see, her eyes were firmly attached to her brain via the optic nerve and nothing less than a scapel was going to pop those babies out. But that was all about to change, like a caterpillar transforming into a mosaic patterned butterfly or a cucumber into a pickle, for one day, his boomerang hit her in the face, severing her optic nerve. Now that he finally had her attention, he mustered up all the manly courage he could muster and asked Ouija out on a romantic outing through the bushlands.
Hours later, Ouija began to regret her decision to accept his decision; it wasn’t just the incessant games of “I got your eye…I got your eye,” but also the fact that the rival tribe of “Boom-Chicka-Wow-Wow” had set out after them, desperately desiring to make this one eyed beauty a pregnant housewife.
Despite her lack of depth perception and stench that makes donkeys puke their guts out, Ouija fled with the eye-wasting lad into the deep jungle which was full of fear and loathing—from the treacherous sand pits to the bone-crushing wonder monkeys. First things first, Ouija and her suitor had to defeat the wonder monkeys if they hoped to make it out alive; Ouija winked at Billy as he pulled out his boomerang again. Flipping the boomerang over to his obverse side as he quickly dialed Queen Elizabeth (Monarch of Australia), who seeing that her subjects were endangered, ran out of her eye-doctoring lessons and jumped into a helicopter, because she was late for tea with Bill Clinton, first lady of the
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